Monday, February 22, 2010
It's notorious, you just don't expect it of Cary Grant
In the car beside me, impervious to my gaze, sat the most incredibly handsome man. Spellbound, by his Cary Grant-like good looks, I fell into delicious reverie, imagining that I, looking uncannily like Ingrid Bergman, was standing elegantly in his glamorous drawing room drinking a pre-opera martini.
Absorbed by this daydream, I slowly became aware that my filmic vision was in reality merely grafted onto a quite grisly scene. My Cary was picking his nose. Not just, discreetly, around the rim, but fervently, his ferreting finger pulling out thick, viscous matter and wiping it in great sliming trails against his steering wheel.
It was horrible, and although I know he's quite entitled to do this, after all it isn't yet against the law, he did ruin my rather swooning and soothing mirage, rudely cracking open my innermost traffic jam coping mechanisms. If I want to see a man gormlessly picking his nose, I'll go home and try not to look at my husband.
I was so angry with him that I found myself segueing into another daydream, which saw Cary being spotted by police and unceremoniously pulled out his car and being marched off to the station, charged with pick-driving.
17% of us do it, apparently, pick our noses while we're driving and, like I said earlier, it is not yet a criminal offence. A couple of motorists have been fined for blowing their noses while driving though, so there's hope yet...
Image © Cliff1066 via Flickr under Creative Commons Licence
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Spilt beer causes long delays on M20
The HGV carrying the beer overturned at around 8am, throwing cans of Carlsberg and Budweiser across the road between junctions 12 and 13 of the motorway.
While I'm sure many of the waiting motorists would have been happy to assist the authorities with ridding the road of beer cans, unfortunately for them, they were instead made to wait while the proper authorities returned the cans to the lorry.
No doubt there will be several motorists returning to the scene to see if they can find a couple of cans that were missed.
[Image © gfpeck via Flickr, under Creative Commons Licence]
Monday, February 1, 2010
Moko the dolphin goes flipping mad after strike from angry canoeist
Locally renowned on his home shore of New Zealand's North Island as being a bit of a yob, the unfriendly dolphin likes nothing more than stealing surfboards and body slamming humans.
His unfriendly antics have led to several bathers and surfers having to call for the help of life guards as the dolphin has left them stranded out at sea and prevented from returning to shore.
However, the petulant porpoise was sent swimming by one fed up canoeist who hit the dolphin with her canoe oar when he tried to attack her.
As it is an offence to harm dolphins under New Zealand law, the woman could face a fine of up to £113,000 if she is found guilty of striking the dolphin.
Marine scientists are attributing the dolphin's naughty behaviour to that of a "very lonely dolphin who loves human contact but is getting way too big and strong for it."
Rather than looking for car insurance, bathers in the area may have to think about taking out dolphin insurance to protect themselves from such a dolphin attack.
[Image © pinhole via Flickr, under Creative Commons Licence]